I got chris browned last night
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
