I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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