I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize