I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize