I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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