do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
