can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
