i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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