we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
