He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
