hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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