so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
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one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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