Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
