did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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