Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
