dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
