Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
