i don't like sucking hair
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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