I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
