yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
