Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
