is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize