She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
