Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
