It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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