i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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