that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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