Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
