i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
