drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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