My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
