I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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