It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
