Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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