4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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