Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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