I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
