It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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