For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
