How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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