I want to make a zoo with you.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
