I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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