arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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