what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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