My cat gives me a boner
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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