I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
