And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
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I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
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the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
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