It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
