Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
