A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
jump out the window naked night went bad
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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