I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
