Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize