You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
