there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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