Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
