Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Like people our age are getting engaged, and Iβm out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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