Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
