I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
They have beer where we have blood.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize