Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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