he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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